


The One Where Clint Works at Pizza Hut

by tigeressdion



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers being silly, Crack, F/M, Gen, One Shot, Pizza, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-HYDRA Reveal, Tony is really shocked that Clint has a job, and a cutie patootie, and a spy, apart from being an avenger, dabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 11:38:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3976663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigeressdion/pseuds/tigeressdion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't you hate it when you need to go and stop a mafia boss fight and one of your team members (*cough*ClintonFrancisBarton*cough*) is already working?<br/>(Based off a tumblr text post.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where Clint Works at Pizza Hut

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a tumblr text post, about how the Avengers get paid after S.H.I.E.L.D gets taken down and whether they get jobs.

"Sir?"  
"Yeah, JARVIS?"  
"An anonymous source-"  
"So Fury."  
"An anonymous source suggested you and the other Avengers might wish to 'take a look at the goddam news and get your asses over there'."  
Tony grumbled and pushed off the car he was tinkering with, and wiped his greasy hands on his jeans.  
"Show me."  
Silently, JARVIS displayed a projection of the news. Somewhere, possibly in Italy, one group of people was shooting at another group of people. Angry Italian words were being exchanged, and someone mentioned something about a bomb.  
"Mafia?" Tony asked, turning away from the projection and striding to the elevator.  
"Yes, sir."  
"Who's home?"  
"Doctor Banner. Should I alert him?"  
"Eh. What the hell, the guy needs to get out more anyway."  
"Of course, sir. Also, the anonymous source implied that Agent Romanoff and Captain Rogers were aware of the situation and on their way."  
"Perfect. What about Thor?"  
"I'll contact him right away."  
"Thanks. And Clint?"  
"I am currently unaware of Agent Barton's whereabouts, but I can try his cell."  
"You do that."  
Tony pulled his phone from his back pocket and tapped a few symbols, watching with childlike glee as his suit was revealed.  
"Never gets old." He muttered, and jumped when he heard someone reply.  
"Not like you then." Bruce grinned at Tony.  
"I like to think of myself as a metaphorical fine wine. I just get better with age."  
"Of course." Bruce nodded sagely, and before Tony could retort, continued. "Anyway, what's this about?"  
"Italians shooting each other. Probably the mafia."  
Bruce sighed slightly and nodded, "and where are the others?"  
"On your left," someone called from behind Bruce.  
Natasha punched Steve. "One: you're behind him. Two: that only works with Sam."  
"You know what, Romanoff?" Steve started, trying to sound annoyed but he ended up just smiling.  
Before anyone could speak again, there was a whoosh, and thud, and a knock on the door that separated the top level of the Avengers Tower from the landing level for the jet. The doors slid open to reveal Thor, looking very hurriedly put together.  
"Nice hair." Natasha commented with a smirk.  
"The same to you," Thor batted back (though his was an actual compliment) running a hand through his hair before shrugging and letting it fall.  
"Are we ready?" The Asgardian asked, glancing around at the other Avengers, frowning when he realised one of their number was missing. "Where is Clint?"  
"Good question," Tony said. "JARVIS, what's the news with Legolas? He out of Mordor yet?"  
Only Natasha noticed Steve's small, proud smile as he understood the reference.  
"Agent Barton has not responded so far. Would you like to try, sir?"  
Tony rolled his eyes and dramatically lifted his phone from his pocket, laboriously searched for Clint's number before pressing 'call' petulantly.  
It took several rings before the archer answered.  
"Yeah?"  
"Your hair looks fine, Katniss. Get over here."  
"Hi. Yeah, can I have a thick crust, ham and pineapple, please?" Asked a voice that Tony didn't recognise.  
"Sure, no problem." That was Clint.  
Tony frowned at his phone. "Hey, Clint."  
"Yeah, what?" Clint answered, sounding slightly breathless.  
"Who are you with?" Tony questioned, raising his eyebrows at his present friends.  
"Oh, and can I have a diet coke with that?" The strange voice again.  
"Sure thing." Definitely Clint.  
"Clint, what are you doing?"  
"Hold up."  
"Are you… are you working at Pizza Hut?" Tony asked after a long moment.  
There was another long moment of silence.  
"Sorry, what was that?" Clint asked suddenly.  
"Are you working at Pizza Hut?" Tony demanded.  
"Gotta pay the bills, Tony." Clint said cheerfully. "We can't all be born billionaires."  
"But why Pizza Hut?" Tony asked, narrowing his eyes slightly and knitting his eyebrows together, thoroughly weirded out by the whole conversation.  
There was some meaningless chatter before Clint replied. "Free pizza, Tony. Free pizza."  
"You're not actually supposed to-" Began a voice from Clint's end, but Clint quickly shushed them.  
"Can we hurry it up?" Steve interrupted, looking at Tony. "Lives are at risk, you realise."  
"Oh right." Tony refocused his attention. "Get over here, Clint, we're going to Italy."  
"Aw, but I haven't finished my shift."  
"Get someone to cover for you!"  
"Fine…" Clint grumbled something and ended the call.  
Tony stared at his phone for a long time in disbelief, then he stared at Natasha.  
"Did you know about this?" He asked.  
"Know about what?" Natasha sounded incredibly bored.  
"Clint works at Pizza Hut!"  
"Oh, that." Natasha grinned, as though it was associated with a funny memory. "Yeah, he has for a while."  
"Why?" Bruce asked, looking very confused.  
Natasha shrugged, "it's a hobby. And he does love pizza."  
When Clint arrived, panting slightly, the Avengers all got onto the jet and Tony set JARVIS on autopilot.  
"So," Clint started. "Italy?"  
Wordlessly, Natasha handed him a Stark Enterprises pad with all the details loaded up.  
"Hey guys," Clint continued as he scrolled through the information. "Think we can get pizza after?"  
Tony threw a wad of papers he was supposed to sign at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Let me know! Kudos? Leave them here!


End file.
